Risk
by Evidence
Summary: Grissom reflects on risks not taken naming Sara ship risks. Based on a YTDaW element challenge


Title: Risk  
  
Author: Evidence  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Author's Notes: A response to Zen's challenge elements over at YTDaW. Elements are as follows: a wetsuit, a cigarette lighter, a pulse oximeter, "he had missed two wakeup calls, what happened if he missed the third? What if he already had?", a small animal made from pine cones.

There was nothing like the feeling of a roller coaster to him. The thrill, the exhilaration of being turned upside at 70 miles per hour on a metal track as fellow passengers screamed around you. He never worried about getting hurt or dying from some freak accident- the thrill kept him doing back for more.   
  
If other facets of his life were only like a roller coaster to him. Grissom always received a thrill from talking to Sara, a kick in his step for the day. But he wasn't willing to take a real risk to be with her. Roller coasters were very safe- safer than regular car driving on the highway. Being with Sara in a romantic sense, it would be the ultimate unsafe thing for him to do. He could get hurt, get his heart broken, lose his job. He was a thrill seeker but far from a risk taker.  
  
He had heard about Sara's date from Hodges of all people. She was heading out on a first date with a new neighbor to her apartment complex. Why she had told Hodges and not him, he wasn't sure, not that it was any of his business. She wasn't his; she was free to begin dating any young new hunks she met.  
  
He imagined Sara reading herself for the date. Applying makeup that she hardly ever wore putting on a nice dress, some perfume. Here he was alone at his apartment lying on his uncomfortable leather couch feeling a migraine coming on.   
  
He had never been good at taking risks. When he was still in college a friend of his received a scuba diver license. Grissom, always wanting to acquire more knowledge, planned to try out for the license as well. He went one day down to a shop run by an older gentleman whose face was ragged with lines. He had looked at the equipment but when he saw the wetsuit he felt fear creep up. He wasn't scared to die; he knew the equipment was quite safe. What he feared was failure. What if he didn't get the license? What if he wasn't good at being a scuba diver? Grissom needed to do everything as close to perfection as possible.  
  
He moved from the couch now and sipped some water putting on some Mozart at this stereo to ease his thoughts. The lights flickered in the condo and Grissom sighed deeply. Power outages had been hitting all week due to a circuit breaker overload and there seemed to be no relief in sight from the heat that caused the problem.  
  
Being cautious, another Grissom motto, he pulled out a metal cigarette lighter to light the hurricane lamp he had housed above his fridge. He was also cautious in every pursuit of his life from power outages to romance. He flicked the lighter but no flame emerged.   
  
"That's what happens when you never try the flame," he said out loud although only his own voice echoed off the walls. He was no fool so the symbolism of it all made his head hurt worse.  
  
He dialed work and got Warrick asking him to give him a wake up call in two hours, first he was going to get some rest for his head.   
  
He laid on his bed this time, more comfortable, and fell into an uncomfortable sleep. He was dreaming about Sara dressed to the T smiling back at him. He was sitting in a chair with a pulse oximeter on his finger, but nothing was registering, like he didn't have a pulse or a heart.   
  
"You look beautiful," he told her.  
  
She shook her head. "You should have told me that when you had the chance."  
  
He stumbled in his dream. "But I...I couldn't...I..."  
  
She raised her hand and like a Disney movie birds appeared singing sweetly as the sunlight danced on a gold band on her finger. "Wake up Grissom before it is too late."  
  
"No, Sara, no," he mumbled waking from his dream, the phone buzzing in the background. He fumbled off the bed and toward the phone still partly in his dream world. "Hello"  
  
"Hey Griss! Never thought you would wake- you missed the first two calls," Warrick said.  
  
"Thanks," Grissom replied hanging up the phone. He could still hear Sara's voice in his dream. She had warned him about leaving with the Leave of Absence a few years ago and then later on when she had asked him out, she had phrased it as some deadline. What if his chance had passed already? He had missed two wakeup calls what happened if he missed the third? What if he already had?  
  
He saw the wetsuit, the lighter, the small animal he had made from pinecones to give to Debbie Marsh in second grade but never did- the images rumbled around his migraine mind. He saw Sara lastly float into his subconscious. She was already on her date.  
  
He dropped her off at the front of her building, not even getting out to open the door for her. She had a grimace on her face that registered surprise when she saw Grissom sitting down on her foot stoop. Her date drove off with a bye as she walked up to Grissom.  
  
"What are you doing here?" She asked a mixture of confusion and fear.  
  
Grissom slowly got up. "I thought your date lived here?"  
  
"Oh he does but he's heading to work," Sara shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"How did it go?" Grissom asked nervously.  
  
"Not good, we have nothing in common. Not like Kepler meeting someone like..."  
  
"Newton?" He finished for her.  
  
"Yeah," she said beginning to smile. "You didn't answer my question."  
  
"I know," he said letting his eyes fall to the ground. His heart was beating quickly but he had never felt so right to finally say something. "I'm ready to take the risk." As soon as he said it he realized that Sara wouldn't understand.  
  
But Sara did understand. She had heard his confession in the interrogation room. Tears welled in her eyes and she began to shake.  
  
"Are you okay, Sara?" Grissom grabbed both of her hands.  
  
"I'm fine, great really." With that she moved in for a kiss and this time Grissom didn't get scared.  
  
The kiss and everything afterwards was for Grissom more thrilling than any roller coaster he had ever been on. Well worth the risk.  
  
The end. 


End file.
